Presented below are general guidelines to consider and/or adhere to when planning a funeral for a loved one. Final decisions and selections should be discussed and coordinated through the funeral home handling the final arrangements.

You may also download the complete Funeral Guidelines document which includes Old and New Testament Readings and musical choices for Mass.

WHAT IS A CATHOLIC FUNERAL MASS?

This life is short, and the life to come is eternal. When a Catholic Christian departs this world for eternity, the Church commends him or her to the love and mercy of God. The Funeral Mass is a time to remember the deceased and to give thanks to God for the gift of his or her life. Even more so, it is a very privileged and sacred time to pray for the deceased, asking God to grant them a merciful judgment, and to grant peace and consolation to their family and friends.

PLANNING FOR THE FUNERAL

The family of the deceased is welcome and encouraged to actively participate in planning the Funeral Rites. Members of the parish staff, together with the priest celebrant, will assist the family in choosing appropriate Scripture readings, gift-bearers, readers, and the appropriate music, so that the Funeral Mass itself can be a truly prayerful and beautiful opportunity to pray for the deceased, as the Church commends him or her to the love and mercy of God.

THE FUNERAL PALL

The Funeral Pall (a large white cloth which covers the entire casket) recalls the white garment with which the deceased was clothed on the day of his or her Baptism. At the beginning of the Funeral Liturgy, the casket is sprinkled with Holy Water, which recalls the water of Baptism. Then the Funeral Pall is draped over the casket prior to the procession into church, and remains on the casket throughout the Funeral Liturgy.

READERS and GIFT BEARERS

The readings ordinarily will be proclaimed by the Funeral Coordinator and, in her absence, by the priest celebrant. Should the family wish to invite a family member or close friend to proclaim a reading, please discuss this with the Funeral Director.

MUSIC
Music is an especially important part of the Funeral Liturgy. There are many beautiful hymns which come to us from all the centuries of the Church’s life of prayer and worship. These are available to be played and sung at the Funeral Liturgy. A sample list follows at the end of these Guidelines. By its very nature, the Church’s Liturgy is sacred. It is a time set apart, in a sacred place, specifically for the worship of God. Thus, it is possible only for sacred music to be used during the Funeral Liturgy. Any non-sacred, or “secular” music which may hold a particular significance to the family of the deceased would be more appropriate to be played either at the wake, or at the reception following the Funeral Liturgy. Our parish priests and Director of Music will be happy to guide you in the planning of a prayerful, tasteful, and reverent Liturgy.

WORDS OF REMEMBRANCE
The practice of giving “Words of Remembrance,” also known as a eulogy, is actually not a part of the Catholic funeral liturgy. Since eulogies are often seen at funerals, however, families sometimes think that they are obligated to designate someone to offer a remembrance of the deceased, or to express thanks on behalf of the family. While this is understandable, no such obligation exists. Yet some families, as part of the grieving and healing process, have a desire for loved ones to share stories and memories of the deceased. It should be remembered that the Funeral Liturgy is a time of very intense emotions, and it is often more difficult than people realize to retain their composure while offering words of remembrance in church.

Due to our experiences with Words of Remembrance in the past, it has become clear to us that it is best for everyone that Words of Remembrance not take place in church. If the family does wish that Words of Remembrance be offered, they would take place at the wake, at the cemetery, or at the luncheon following the burial, rather than at the Funeral Liturgy itself. 

CREMATION

“Although cremation is now permitted by the Church, it does not enjoy the same value as burial of the body. The Church clearly prefers and urges that the body of the deceased be present for the funeral rites, since the presence of the human body better expresses the values which the Church affirms in those rites.” (Order of Christian Funerals, no. 413). 

For various reasons, some families choose the option of cremation. While intact burial is clearly preferred, in imitation of Jesus’ own burial after His Crucifixion and before His Resurrection, cremation is permitted by the Church by way of exception, as long as it is not carried out so as to deny the Church’s unchanging faith in the resurrection of each person’s mortal body when Christ comes again at the end of time, to judge the living and the dead. 

If cremation is chosen and takes place before the Funeral Mass, the urn is brought to church, and placed on a table in the sanctuary. A photograph of the deceased, as well as flowers, may be placed beside the urn on the table, should the family wish this. 

Following the Mass, the cremated remains must be buried, just like a body, in a cemetery, crypt, or other in an appropriate burial place. Out of respect for the remains of the deceased, whose body was once a temple of the Holy Spirit and which will be raised up again on the Last Day, scattering ashes, dividing them up, or keeping them at home, is not permissible because it does not express appropriate respect for the dignity of the person’s remains. 

PRIESTS OR DEACONS FROM OTHER PARISHES
If a family would like to invite a Priest or Deacon from elsewhere to celebrate or concelebrate any of the Funeral Liturgies, they would be welcome to do so, provided that the invited Priest or Deacon is currently in good standing in his Diocese or Religious Order. If an invited Priest or Deacon is from another Diocese, or from a Religious Order outside the Diocese of Bridgeport, he must send to the Diocesan Vicar for Clergy (well in advance) a document called a Testimonial of Ministerial Suitability from his Bishop or Religious Superior, for presentation to the Office for Clergy and Religious, here in the Diocese of Bridgeport. Our parish priests would be happy to facilitate this process with any visiting clergy.

Parish Office Hours

Mon to Thur: 9:00 AM - 4:00 PM

Friday: 9:00 AM - 1:00 PM